Bells Palsy

    So, I really have been putting this particular blog off for a while.  I have actually been processing what God was teaching me through the situation. And I am still not quite sure if I understand all of it, but I knew it was time to hash it out.

      About 6 days after we arrived in the States I started to get some numbness in the right side of my mouth. I didn't think much of it I thought maybe I had eaten something I was allergic to so I tired to avoid those foods the next day.  On day 2 I felt like the numbness was not only still there but it had gotten worse but I just waited it out and still did not see it as a big deal.  The third day I woke up and had lost muscle control fully in the right side of my face I could not blink my eye or raise my mouth to smile. It was a pretty strange feeling.  So I decided to be a google doctor similar to what I am in Kenya sometimes and I stumbled upon Bells Palsy with my current symptoms.  Right as I was reading about it Bekah came up and asked me whats wrong with you because she could see my face looked strange and then I told her I couldn't move my face and before I knew it Grammy B had me in the Emergency room where she works.

       There was a chance this could have been caused by a brain tumor or a mild stroke so we had to make sure.  My CAT scan and EKG were clear and my blood work came back good.  So the doctors determined it was definitely Bells Palsy.  Bells Palsy is when your 7th Cranial nerve is inflamed and there fore cannot function properly or at all.  The 7th cranial controls the blinking of your eye, the ability to move the side of your mouth, and to control that side of your face completely.  Its usually cause by some sort of virus that specifically attacks that nerve in your body.  So in order to stop it from progressing I was on steroids for about 12 days which prevents the inflammation from getting worse but cannot heal or restore the nerve.
      I never considered myself a vain person but apparently I was wrong because this really bothered me a lot I had such a hard time dealing with it.  I was asked to preach in a church that I was expecting to preach in with normally I would jump at that opportunity. Instead I immediately  said no without even taking a second to think it over I felt conviction instantly and knew I was supposed to do it.  SO about 10 seconds later I changed my mind and said yes.  But I still struggled I didn't understand what God was doing and what the point was.  I had no idea how long it would last and if it would ever go back to normal.  (and for those of you who know me well I like being in control and having answers to those questions so it really bothered me)  I had talked to people who never had the control fully come back and others who had taken 6 months and another who had taken 2 months and it happened to that person 2 more times! AHHHH! That was not what I wanted hear.

Then I had my AHA moment! I need to confess something here sometimes I have a rough time when we return to the States and people make things that are very small and minute very BIG deals! I get frustrated easily in those situations where people have a vehicle that may be 5 years old and say they NEED a new one or have the Iphone 4 and say they need the Iphone 5 because life is so hard with the Iphone 4! Ok I promise I am not thinking of any specific person when I write this these are examples but I think you get the idea.  The point is I was no different in this situation I had a in all intents and purposes a cosmetic default and not only was I complaining about it. It was controlling me and my state of mind. It was affecting my decision making and my relationship with God.  So I prayed and asked God to forgive me for my vanity and told him that I would learn to deal with this if He helped me and I immediately started to recover slowly over the next 7 days after that. So my full experience was only about 2 weeks and I was fully back to normal. I think I learned what He wanted me to learn but I am sure there will be more to come later. Praise God because He healed me faster than any doctor said I would recover.
    The bottom line is we all find something to complain about. I need to have more grace for people and speak life and love. We all want something more something better, but we need to surrender those wants to Him. We need to love Him more than we love ourselves consistently and be willing to lay those things down for Him no matter what it may be. Even if it means my face! He's more than worth it!

This is a picture during the harder part of BP as you can see I can't really smile.  And as you can also see my wife is smoking hot!