My confession

Every few months Jason has to gently clean our water filters. 

There is always a thick sludge of mud around them.

"When we were utterly helpless,  Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. " Romans 5:6-8
I have had a battle against self righteousness for as long as I can remember. Before we were able to come to the mission field we had to go through a series of evaluation tests. One of those tests was able to pinpoint my struggle with self righteousness, I couldn't believe it! In the story of the prodical son, I find myself relating to the brother who remained home with the Father. I have told the Lord, "I have always strived to live for you. Each day I come to you with thanksgiving. I bring you my praise and worship. I serve the poor and people who don't know you. And you see my life, I am not living like......this person is. "

We went to pray with a the missionaries who live in this area yesterday. We looked at Scripture of God's love for us and it really hit home for me. Even though I have been a Christian for awhile I always need to remember the depth of my own sin. It is so easy for me to see the depravity of others especially if I watch the news. I can look at the people here and see God loved them so much that He sent His son to die for them. Now I am looking inwardly, I need a Savior. When I think highly of myself that is ugly. It is sludge before the Lord, just like the dirt that gathers around our filters. In my darkest moments, that is when Christ went to the cross for me.