Fear and Helplessness

Its not something I am very familiar with, now I am not saying that to sound tough and manly. Its just a feeling I am not very well acquainted with. I am usually not afraid of things I usually do not panic. It's just the way God made me and I am very grateful for that. Today was different, today was hard, today I panicked, and today I was afraid!
I was running errands in town and had my very precious 2 year old beautiful daughter with me (and also one of the interns Warren as well) We were going to the Post Office to check the box to see if the package from Bekah's mom had arrived. Upon pulling up to the post office Righteous tells me "daddy I want some waddie" (water) So I reply " Rightchy lets go check the box and then I will get you some water" by the time I finish that statement she begins gasping for air screaming my name. Struggling to breathe. I knew exactly what had happen we had just finished a painting project at the school we work with here and she had found the terpintine and drank it thinking it was water.( my dumb mistake I had stored the left over in water bottle and hidden it under my seat and it had slid out into the open she is able to open tops that she couldn't before)
Fear and Panic took over she can't breathe what do I do? I took actual water and poured it over her head and face to thin the turpentine odor away to help her breathe. She still can't breathe I have to get her to the hospital. So I take off holding her begging Jesus to intervene begging Him to keep her alive not knowing at all what was going to happen. She vomited on me several times I never thought I would beg anybody to puke on me but today I did. Navigating the crowded African streets only God got us there safely at that speed.
I run in clutching her praying and weeping yelling for a doctor we got one immediately which is a miracle in itself. He checked her over gave her some injection to help clear the stomach and some medicine to sooth the irritation in the throat and lungs. They monitored her for an hour or so and then released us that was at 3 this afternoon. Now it is well past midnight here and she is completely fine and back to normal the cough is gone but her breathe still wreaks like paint thinner she would burp it up and laugh at the smell and say gross daddy. God is so good. Because she ingested so little and vomited most of it up immediately it was not as serious as it could have been. I let her stay up late because we wanted to make sure everything is still ok she proceeded to tell everyone " Righteous spit on daddy(threw up) and righteous get medicine I don't yike (like) medicine" She is so precious I love her so much there was nothing I could do it was my fault for being careless what a bad decision!

It seems so dramatic when I write it out but its exactly what happen I have never felt more afraid and helpless in my entire life. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my children my daughters have my heart in the palms of their hands anytime they want it. To be honest I am still shaken I am not sure how to deal with these feelings but I know some body who does. His name is Jesus and He paid it all so I have to lay this at His feet and know He always is in control. It's hard because I was so afraid even as I write this I can't stop crying but I needed to talk about it or write about it Thanks for Listening or reading.