Hardships

"Strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. 'We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,' they said" Acts 14:22.

Before this past year I would always consider my biggest fear was not being able to provide proper medical care when my children got sick. Whenever anyone asked me how they could be praying for our family, my answer was always to pray against my children getting malaria- and then when they did get it, the medicine would bring relief and healing fast. A testimony to the Lord's faithfulness is that all three older kids have gotten malaria several times and they have all fully recovered.

This past year has brought a lot of insecurity to where we live. In October 2011 we left the country and temporarily relocated to Tanzania until we could figure out how to take safety measures before moving back. Unfortunately the unrest has not stopped. What I have noticed about myself is that ultimately I am not afraid and fully trust the Lord and have have a deep love for these people. However I am more aware of my surroundings whenever I leave my home and at night my senses have heightened. The reality is living on a week to week level of insecurity is the hardship that I have to wrestle with. We all have to face hardships as followers of Christ. Each of our hardships will look differently from one another. I think it is important to recognize that hardships are to be expected. When they come we should not be afraid and want to run but stand firm in our faith. It reminds me of this one story:

"Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other: "How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials, and knowledge so that we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs." So they started hoarding, so much and so eagerly that the other peoples protested and said: "You have so much more than you need, while we don't have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!" But the fearful hoarders said: "No, no, we need to keep this in case of emergency, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened."  But the others said: "We are dying now, please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can't wait... we need it now!" Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, since they became afraid that the poor and hungry would attack them. So they said to one another: "Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us." They started erected walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether their enemies were outside the walls or not! As their fear increased they told each other: "Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls. Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away. We need to put bombs at the top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close to us." But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realized their fear of death had brought them closer to it." Henri J.M. Nouwen, Lifesigns: Intimacy, Fecundity, and Ecstasy in Christian Perspective (New York: Doubleday, 1986), 96-97.