The Wittz End: Getting back into the swing of things

As each day passes I try to do a little more than the day before. Dealing with the loss of my brother could possibly be the hardest and most unfamiliar path I have yet walked in life. Which being 33 I consider myself blessed many have it far worse and will continue to have it far worse. My life while not easy has not been as hard it people think. I count myself beyond blessed to have a God who loves me unconditionally! A mom who would do anything for me siblings that love me even when I am annoying to them. A wife who loves me in spite of my many flaws and children who adore me and don't see any flaws in me. I am a blessed guy so how can I complain? How can I be downcast? It can still happen but it's about the choice to push through. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting or pretending it didn't happen. It means adjusting to the "new" normal while it is not a normal I would have chosen willingly it is the reality. As I think about it people do this and have been doing this for a long time people have lost spouses, siblings, and children and yet they continue with life. My advice to someone is take it one day, one step and sometimes one breath at a time. Don't be afraid to cry be sad or get angry, don't try to understand it won't make sense, but above all and most importantly love, trust and worship God. Because no matter what He is and always will be worthy! He is the only one who can get anyone through this type of heartache and heal this type of pain! The answer is not in anything else nor will it ever be. Anything other source than Jesus would be a band-aid on a bullet wound. It just won't help.

With that said I am trying to adjust to the new normal I have jumped back into the farm doing several things to try to improve the sustainability of the project so that it does not depend on outside support. We have ventured into the cattle industry to test the market. We have three cows that we bought with the intention of fattening up and selling to the local butchery. We purchased them about 3 months ago they have responded very well to being fed Napier grass they gain weight and look more and more like steaks each week! If this takes off and we could get initial sponsorship to buy into the market in a larger way this could support all the projects we run in the community ! Our crop of onions is going on well we are struggling with the squirrels and rabbits eating the tops which is a set back but we set some traps and hope to remedy that problem as well. Once the onions get bigger the animals will not eat the tops because of the bitter taste so we are just trying to get through the first stage.

Our tomatoes in the greenhouse are coming up we have tried 2 varieties of hybrid tomatoes to see which one best fits our climate. Tomorrow we are also planning to transfer all of the collard plants from the nursery beds to the permanent beds. Collards could be a great source of income it is a Kenyan staple food and is not grown much locally but the market is in dire need for a local source.

We also still have the clinic running once per week at the farm to help improve the health of the village. We have had to transport many to the hospital each week most of whom survive. But last week we transported a woman to the hospital and after about a week stay there she passed away. Life here is so different death is so matter of fact there is not a lot of emotion tied to it they bury their dead after 12 hours usually. They have seen so much of it everyone has been affected literally everyone. Different worlds very different worlds.

All these things we do are good things but they all exist for the sake of the relationship. We are practically showing the love of Christ through the way we live our lives, This has allowed us to develop those deep relationships that are our bridges into the hearts of the people. SO may we always keep the first thing the first thing and not get too caught up in results and numbers or success. I can be honest there are times when I feel that we take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back which for a person with my personality is really a struggle I tend to try and define myself by my successes and failures. ( which of course is wrong but I said I was being honest) The reality remains nothing I ever do will be good enough for me to earn the love and approval of the Father. He has already given that to me! WOW! It's not about what results I see it is simply a life of obedience one day, one step, sometimes one breath at a time!