To be a girl

Last week I got a chance to visit two different neighbors. That is such a big part of my life here and I wish I could do it everyday. This culture is very people oriented, where it is not looked upon as an interruption to stop by to say hello. Almost always I have been given a chair to sit on and more often than not been given chai/soda/juice and snacks to have during the visit. The first family I went to see has many younger mothers that sit under a tree throughout the day- delighting in their children and getting to chat away with one another. There is a pre-teen girl who is always there too. Her face is full with her smile and she shakes my hand with a firm grip but does not speak a word of English and since my Swahili is limited- we often just laugh in each other's company. How I wish to ask her why she isn't attending school because she is at the age where she should be. Instead after we have greeted one another she returns to washing the floors or laundry she was doing before I arrived. My children and I sit among the young mothers and hand out our plastic animals we brought to give a small boy who was born a few months ago. One of our visits we saw him playing with a water bottle top as a toy and knew he would enjoy playing with things that are not girly enough for us. This provided a wonderful opportunity for us to share what each animals name was in English and for them to teach us what it was in their language. They told us a group of monkeys had entered their compound that day and stolen a bagful of sugar. They saw the monkeys heading toward my house and wanted to know if we also had anything stolen. No-thanks to good old Hercules and Achilles- our faithful guard dogs. There was one girl who kept spitting over her shoulder, really being faithful as she is fasting. Some of the bigger kids got a big kick out of picking up the plastic animals and chasing the younger ones. The younger kids screamed and cried out of great fear. I am not sure if they thought it could be real or if it just looked scary to them. My girls were so concerned with this going on. Samara started to ask continually to go home thus ending our visit with a promise to come back again.

The second home I went to is a friend of my who finished high school 1 year ago. She speaks English so well and we like filling in what we have been doing since the last time we saw each other. This time caught me a little off guard. She looked at my 4 daughters who were coloring on her bed. Then she turned to look at me and asked "Will you be getting them circumcised?" She asked so innocently, not at all knowing that my insides began to twist and cringe. "No, in my culture we do not do this." There were a million things I wanted to say- but I had no words that would come right away. I was able to say God is a God who does not make mistakes. He did not make a woman's body where we as humans needed to alter them. When I asked her why it was done in her culture she said that her religion believes it is wrong to get pregnant before marriage so having her parts cut out, the parts that give "feeling", prevents girls from having sex before marriage. I told her in my faith, we are also not suppose to have sex before marriage. God is the one who created sex and it is a beautiful thing for both the husband and wife to desire one another. I finally asked her when she was circumcised. She told me she was 9 years old so she remembers it well. She was given an injection so that she did not feel any pain. She bled for an entire month. Her mother did not even know she was taken to have it done at that time. I asked her "Was your mother upset when she found out it had been done to you?" She answered, "No, she was so happy."

I had no words to say. I was holding in my tears. I looked over at my four daughters then. I look at them now. I cannot even imagine. My heart hurts deeply when I even think about this. But it is happening. Here in my town it is happening. To little girls under the age 10. It seems so hopeless. SO tragic. But I know there can be change. I pray for this to come to an end. I am not exaggerating when I say almost every woman that does not share the same faith as me, has had it done to them when they were a child. It is part of their traditions. The way it has always been done. I often feel so inadequate. The father of lies has deceived these people in so many different ways. What can I possibly do to make a difference. "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world." Will you pray with me, for both men and women to be set free from this tradition and find the true way that will give them life?