Leaving half of our heart in a place called Waukesha

Sweet little Nevaeh posing for the camera at the girl interns house 2009.

We blinked and Nevaeh is launched. It's as if it was only yesterday that we held her in our arms as a baby. Although she is our second born she is the first kid to be born in Kenya and was completely bald until about 2. She did a strange army crawl until she learned to walk. It has been an incredible honor having her apart of our everyday lives for 18 years. She has such a charming and loud personality so her abscense is greatly noticed and we miss her terribly already. People always say that the time will just fly by when your kids are little and the next thing you know they will be leaving your home-they are exactly right. In light of this my advice is to make sure you are present with your children and don't take each day for granted. 

This feels like just the other day.

My friend Allison told me of this saying in French, "Tu me manque!" Which translates to "You are missing from me". This is what sums up our feelings. It's been just as painful to say goodbye to Nevaeh as it was to say goodbye to Righteous 1 year ago. Allison also explained something to me about "when a mother carries a child, her DNA is actually rewritten with a bit of their coding". I Googled it and the name of it is 

Fetal Microchimerism: Small amounts of the baby's cells move into the mother's blood and organs. These leftover cells can stay in the mother's tissues and brain for decades. No wonder why there is an ache and deep grief that goes to my core. But I cling tight to Jesus. I entrust my daughters back into His care which really they were already His all along. I release them to Him. "I surrender all."

Here are the positives this time around: we had a better idea of how to get everything Nevaeh needed in just one Walmart run instead of two. It was so nice to meet lots of teachers and classmates of both daughters. This time Jason and I attended the parents brunch at the college to meet the school president and he gave excellent advice. The president said the role between parent and child vastly changes as they become adults. When they are young you are in full control, then you become more like a coach and now it changes to an Advisor.

We learned that we needed to "rip the bandaid" off faster than we did for Righteous. We stayed for less days and on the final day we decided to say our goodbyes earlier in the day than originally planned. This would give Nevaeh a chance to make and hang out with friends in this early stage which is crucial to her adjustment. The beautiful part of both daughters is they were so torn- wanting to spend every moment with us. They are some amazing human beings. As much as we dreaded to do so we gave that final hug, said, "I love you more than words can say," and drove away.

There is a peace in knowing our daughters have eachother. Righteous will lookout for her sister while pushing her in the right ways. Seeing this as a huge blessing has made Jason and I wonder how could we ever have left Righteous with nobody to look out for her. And despite this Righteous rose to this challenge and did so well. It showed us how strong and brave she is. We are so proud of her.

We are still in the USA until October so we will get to see our older 2 in a month on our drive back to Minnesota. We can't wait for that. Now it's New York or bust. See you all in the East Coast so soon.

On our drive to drop off Nevaeh to college. 

Righteous and Everet were at the registration desk when we walked through the doors of the school. 

Nevaeh put a pin into Kenya- where she is from thus doubling the Kenya MK's of the school.

This is actually Righteous room and roommate which is just down the hall from Nevaeh's room.

Hanging out with Everet and Elise.

It was quite the ordeal for them to get up in that tree but eventually they managed.

Minutes before our final goodbye. But we will see you again soon.